[Field Notes] How to Host with Intention
"Don’t just invite people—invite them into a purpose." - Priya Parker
This book made me rethink everything I’ve ever hosted.
The Art of Gathering isn’t about party planning or dinner tablescapes. It’s about intention. It’s about designing spaces that matter—whether you’re throwing a birthday party, leading a meeting, or hosting a dinner with friends.
The Thesis:
Every gathering has a purpose. If you don’t name it, the gathering will default to autopilot. The best hosts don’t just set a table—they design an experience around a clear why.
Here’s what you need to know…
[Start with why]
Most gatherings follow societal defaults—holidays, birthdays, networking events.
Flip it. Start with the purpose, and let that guide everything: the guest list, the format, the space.
Don’t be afraid to rethink the rules.
[Ask yourself who really belongs]
Not every gathering is for everyone. Define who belongs—and why.
“By trying not to offend someone, you fail to protect the gathering.”
Exclusion isn’t always a bad thing. Done with care, it creates the space for deeper connection.
[Space Matters]
The venue shapes behavior—choose it intentionally.
Think about transitions: entrances and exits set the tone. They’re not just logistics; they’re a palette cleanser for the experience.
Incorporate the senses. Shift rooms, change lighting, create moments of pause. Give your gathering texture and memory.
[Don’t be a chill host]
Being a “chill” host is a trap—it’s often more about protecting how you look than how your guests feel.
Be clear about the vibe. Set intentions, assign roles, declare rules.
People like knowing what’s expected of them. It makes them feel safe to engage.
[Open Strong, Close Strong]
The opening and closing matter more than you think. They’re the moments that set the ethos.
Don’t waste the opening on logistics—use it to create meaning.
The closing is your chance to seal the experience. End with intention.
Final Thoughts:
Good gatherings don’t happen by accident. They’re designed.
Priya Parker’s point is simple but easy to forget: hosting is leadership. The best hosts don’t just throw a party—they create a space where something specific can unfold.
Till next time.
With love,
Diaundra